The Cultivation of Intimacy

Devotional from Coach Joshua W:

What is Intimacy?

Intimacy is a multifaceted state of close familiarity, trust, and connection. It extends far beyond physical touch to encompass emotional, mental, and spiritual bonds.

The definition of intimacy provides encouragement: even though we cannot physically see God—which can feel like a dilemma in our human experience of growing close to people, places, or things—true intimacy reaches past the physical. It is experienced most deeply when we engage ourselves emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

• Emotional Intimacy: Centered on vulnerability and trust.

• Intellectual Intimacy: Rooted in shared ideas and engaging in deep conversations.

• Spiritual Intimacy: Focused on shared values and divine purpose.

These facets enhance relationship satisfaction. Intimacy develops through consistent, safe communication and vulnerability, evolving from initial attraction to deep commitment. It is crucial for our overall psychological and spiritual health.

Stages of an Intimate Relationship

• Formation/Attraction: Initial closeness and chemistry.

• Building Trust: Sharing vulnerabilities and developing emotional safety.

• Maintenance: Regularly nurturing the bond through communication and shared experiences.

• Deep Commitment: Sustained connection, shared life goals, and mutual support.

What does it look like to go to God in everything? It means bringing Him our emotions, our needs, and our questions.

King David’s Dependency

1 Samuel 13:13-14: But Samuel said to Saul, “You have acted foolishly! You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God, which He commanded you, for the Lord would now have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom shall not endure. The Lord has sought for Himself a man after His own heart, and the Lord has appointed him ruler over His people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you.”

There are things God will graciously give you in one season and tactfully take away in another. If you lack intimacy with Him, you will eventually lack the conviction to remain obedient to His commands and the purpose He wants to accomplish through you.

Going to Him in Reverence, Wisdom, and Provision

In Psalm 23 and Psalm 25, we see how King David communed with God. We can express anything to God, yet we must remember He is a Holy God to be exalted (Reverence). Intimacy requires a humbling of ourselves—laying down our own ideas, plans, and the anxiety regarding what we believe we need.

Often, when we pray, we tell God a lot about our plans. This is good, and you should continue to do so; however, as we mature, we see through David’s life a deeper posture of surrender. David trusts God so deeply that he can declare: “I will not be in need” (Provision), “He restores my soul,” and “Certainly goodness and faithfulness will follow me.”

Phrases like “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths” and “Guide me in your truth” reveal a man desperate for guidance. David voices his needs but remains in a posture of surrender, allowing God to reveal His direction and purpose. The things you are willing to give control over to God will determine the level of revelation you receive of who Jesus is, and the level of intimacy you experience with Him. Perfection is not a necessity; giving your heart to Him is.

Psalm 23:1-3: The Lord is my shepherd, I will not be in need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for the sake of His name.

Psalm 23:6: Certainly goodness and faithfulness will follow me all the days of my life, and my dwelling will be in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 25:4-5: Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Disappointment, Sorrow, and Hopelessness

God desires for you to express your raw emotions, even the negative ones. The goal is to be "undone" and unashamed before Him. Engaging emotionally and mentally during difficult times—rather than turning to vices like gossip, drugs, addiction, or work—invites God to intervene.

He will only enter the areas of your life where He is welcomed. He can handle your anger, pride, impatience, and pain. David shows us that spiritual disciplines must not be robotic. Though prayer and reading scripture involve repetition, they should not be empty. Whether through study or immersing yourself in a church community for true accountability, God calls us to be real and raw. This is how true intimacy is achieved.

Psalm 25:7: Do not remember the sins of my youth or my wrongdoings; remember me according to Your faithfulness, for Your goodness’ sake, Lord.

Psalm 25:16-19: Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Look at my misery and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. Look at my enemies, for they are many, and they hate me with violent hatred.

Psalm 25:20-21: Guard my soul and save me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You. Let integrity and uprightness protect me, for I wait for You.

Psalm 28:1-2: To You, Lord, I call; my rock, do not be deaf to me, for if You are silent to me, I will become like those who go down to the pit. Hear the sound of my pleadings when I cry to You for help, when I raise my hands toward Your holy sanctuary.